“I Hurt Everyone” — A Core Limiting Belief

🧨 Common Emotional Triggers

This belief doesn’t just hinder relationships—it reinforces your fear of causing pain:

• Conflict or Disagreements: Even mild arguments trigger fears of causing permanent emotional damage

• Seeing Others Upset: Interpreting others' emotional states as direct proof of your harmfulness

• Constructive Criticism: Feedback intensifies your internal narrative of causing harm

• Mistakes in Relationships: Small missteps confirm your fear of inevitably hurting others

• Expressions of Love or Attachment: Positive emotions from others heighten anxiety, convinced they’ll soon suffer because of you

What Therapy Does to Break the Cycle

At ShiftGrit, we don’t simply teach relationship skills—we dismantle the core belief that your existence is inherently harmful.

• Understand: Identify experiences or relationships that implanted the idea you were fundamentally damaging

• Shift: Interrupt the cognitive link between your presence and perceived emotional harm to others

• Recondition: Anchor a new internal narrative based on trust in your ability to create meaningful, safe relationships
  
  

You’re not inherently harmful—you learned to see yourself that way.

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Related Belief Expressions

• “People are better off without me.”

• “I ruin everything.”

• “I’m toxic to others.”

• “I inevitably cause pain.”
  
  

Closely tied with beliefs such as “I am unlovable,” “I’m defective,” and “I am a burden.”

🧩 Belief Progression Loop

Non-Nurturing Element:

Environments featuring blame, emotional punishment, scapegoating, or being held responsible for others’ emotional states.

Evidence Pile:

• Repeated experiences of being blamed for others’ feelings or reactions

• Emotional invalidation, leading to internalized guilt and shame

• Significant emotional punishments or rejection following perceived mistakes

• Early relationships marked by conflict or emotional volatility that you internalized as your fault
  
  

The Loop:

• Limiting Belief: I hurt everyone

• Internal Rule: If I engage emotionally, I’ll inevitably cause harm

• Protective Conclusion: I isolate, emotionally withdraw, or preemptively sabotage relationships

• Opt-Out Pattern: I avoid intimacy or connection, reinforcing isolation and confirming the belief
  
  

This loop keeps you distanced—not because you genuinely harm others, but because your nervous system learned closeness equals inevitable pain.

Emotional Regulation: The Key to Rewiring the Loop

Real emotional connection isn’t harm-free—it’s about trusting your intentions and ability to repair and grow through genuine interactions.

When your nervous system internalizes your inherent value in relationships, closeness becomes safe again.

Explore the Therapy Path for This Belief

Want to see how this belief shows up in real life — and how we treat it at ShiftGrit?

👉 View the Core Belief page →

← Back to the Belief Library

Want to Break Free from “I Hurt Everyone”?

Therapy helps you dismantle the narrative of inherent harm, empowering you to build connections rooted in trust, safety, and mutual growth.

You’re not harmful. You’re just patterned.

👉 Book a Therapy Session →