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This belief makes you flinch from your own progress.
When “I Always Ruin Things” is running the system, success becomes terrifying — not because you don’t want it, but because you don’t believe you can keep it. You expect yourself to crash what you build.
So you start self-sabotaging, stalling, or hiding… before the fall ever happens.
How It Manifests in Your Life:
How It Manifests in Your Life:
You hold back from opportunities because you’re scared of messing them up
You overthink or delay decisions to avoid “making the wrong one”
You push people away when things are going well
You struggle to trust that your wins are real or sustainable
You expect breakdowns after breakthroughs — and subconsciously cause them
Common Emotional Triggers:
Common Emotional Triggers:
Praise, success, or recognition
Feeling close to someone
Milestones that raise expectations
Being entrusted with something meaningful
Reflecting on past mistakes or breakups
What Therapy Does to Break the Cycle:
What Therapy Does to Break the Cycle:
“I Always Ruin Things” is often the echo of conditional safety — where love, belonging, or stability came with strings.
At ShiftGrit, we help you retrain the reflex that assumes loss is coming and that you’re the one who’ll cause it.
Through Pattern Reconditioning, we:
Identify the original link between self-expression and loss
Rewire the panic response tied to achievement or intimacy
Restore trust in your ability to maintain progress — without destruction
You're not your past patterns. And you don’t have to burn down the good to feel safe.
Related Belief Expressions:
Related Belief Expressions:
“I always mess up eventually”
“They’ll regret trusting me”
“Things fall apart because of me”
“I don’t know how to sustain success”
“I can’t handle being relied on”
Develops Into:
Develops Into:
Chronic self-sabotage
Avoidance of intimacy or responsibility
Procrastination around growth
Internal identity as a “liability” or “disappointment”
Emotional numbness to protect others from yourself
Emotional Regulation: The Key to Rewiring the Loop
Emotional Regulation: The Key to Rewiring the Loop
The fear of ruining things is usually a learned defense.
We help your system disconnect fear from your identity — so you can grow, connect, and lead without bracing for collapse.
Explore the Therapy Path for This Belief
Explore the Therapy Path for This Belief
Want to see how this belief shows up in real life — and how we treat it at ShiftGrit?
👉 View the Core Belief page →
Want to Break Free from “I Always Ruin Things””?
Want to Break Free from “I Always Ruin Things””?
Therapy can help you stop bracing for disaster and start trusting your ability to build, hold, and grow.
You’re not the problem. You’re the pattern. And that can be changed.
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